09 The System of Thinking Part 3

The System of Thinking. What it is. Stages on: The Way to Conscious Immortality. This system of thinking is for you, you choose and will: to have knowledge of nature and of your Triune Self; to think without creating destiny, to be conscious of Consciousness, and to become consciously immortal.

9. The actual effort to think without creating thoughts begins with the effort to identify and free feeling.

This effort calls into use the feeling-mind. Before sleep, at waking, and before the effort to think for freedom, you may make this earnest appeal.
You address yourself in thought to your thinker and knower, as your Triune Self, and think clearly:

My Judge, and my Knower! Give me Thy Light and the Light of Thy Knower. Let me be always conscious of Thee, that I may do all my duty and be consciously one with Thee.

  • Feeling is that of yourself in the body which feels:
  • which feels impressions from objects of nature, but which cannot of itself distinguish itself from the impressions and from the senses.
  • Your feeling-and-desire cannot be identified and freed unless each has the other's assistance.
  • Your desire cannot free itself until after the freedom of your feeling, because nature has its stronghold in feeling and your feeling holds desire and holds your desire to nature.
  • Your feeling cannot be identified and freed unless your desire desires feeling to free itself.

When there is the persistent desire for feeling to be freed, your feeling is empowered by your desire to accomplish its identification and freedom by your persistence in thinking on feeling as feeling, until you as feeling are identified and freed.

10. The freeing of feeling begins with locating it in the body and distinguishing it from the sensations with which it is associated and identified.

  • You should try to think of and feel feeling as different and distinct from the body and the sensations which you feel.
  • Then your feeling extends through and over the body and there are sensations of warmth and tingling, but you do not feel feeling.
  • The effort to think of and feel feeling as of yourself and as distinct from the sensation, by which you are employed and engrossed, awakens and calls into action your second mind, the feelingmind, which is for the control of feeling.

You, as feeling, are in the body wherever the blood and nerves are; therefore you may practice by trying to locate feeling in some particular part, a finger, toe or other part of the body, by thinking of it there. As soon as you try to think of and distinguish feeling as yourself, you are likely to be distracted by sensations, such as itching, uneasiness, trembling, sweating, flushing, yawning, fatigue or sleepiness.

  • This is caused by your effort to control your untrained feeling-mind and its sluggish nerve centers.
  • You, feeling, will then go into parts of the body to serve these sensations, and your thinking following you, as feeling, also serves them.
  • This means that there has been an obstruction to the thinking and that your thinking has been turned from feeling as the subject, to the obstruction.

Thinking on your feeling alone as the subject, necessitates the holding of your feeling-mind steady, to focus the Conscious Light on feeling and so to locate yourself in your body and to free and know yourself.

The change of the subject from feeling to a sensation changes thinking with your feeling-mind, to thinking with your body-mind.

When thinking is not turned to a subject of nature and continues on yourself alone, the first efforts so to think will most likely numb or tire your body and induce sleep. When your thinking is switched back to thinking on a subject of nature, or when sleep comes, your effort to distinguish and identify yourself as feeling stops. You cannot feel feeling in the body without sensation until you use the feeling-mind, except in deep sleep, when you are not related to the body.

Therefore you must persist in training your feeling-mind by trying to think of and feel yourself, feeling only, nothing else.

  • You should not think of feeling as having anything to do in connection with or related to seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, or even touching.
  • You, feeling as yourself, are separate and distinct from the senses and objects of nature, even though you extend along the blood and nerve centers of the body.
  • The body is corporeal; you are incorporeal.

If after many efforts you are not able to know yourself in the body, as distinct from the body, you may practice the feeling of sensations, so that in this way
you may become more familiar with yourself as feeling.

  • You may think of your toe and feel what you can in that toe.
  • The member in which there had been no feeling, then begins to pulse with sensations of warmth.
  • Then you should think on and feel the same toe on the other foot, and it will pulse in unison with the first toe.
  • Then you should extend your thinking and feeling to each of the other toes until all are pulsing.
  • Then you should continue the thinking and feeling to the instep, the heel and the ankle, until there is a pulsing and activity through all parts of your feet and ankles.
  • Then you should steadily extend your thinking and feeling to the legs, knees, thighs and pelvis, and then along the spine to the abdomen, thorax, neck and head.
  • When you arrive at the top of your head you will feel a current, a shower of life, which as from a fountain sprays down through your whole body.
  • This means that as desire-andfeeling, and by intentionally and uninterruptedly thinking upward in the body, you have temporarily connected and coordinated the roots and branches of the two nervous systems with the spinal cord;
  • that you have thus caused the life breath and form breath to rise and flow with the physical breath through or along the trunk or spine of the body;
  • and, that on reaching the crown of the brain, the life currents return like a shower from a fountain and quicken the body.

Practice in thus thinking and feeling, keeps up and brings the parts of your body into coordination, and harmonious life flows through it.

  • After that you should try to think of and feel the living breath, the active side of the breath-form, penetrating every part of the form of the breathform of the body, the passive side of the breath-form.
  • You should try to feel the breath-form as a living being inside of and moving the body, as the hand moves and is felt inside a soft glove.

11. The breath-form is the living soul, the creator and builder and preserver of the body, which is dependent on the feeling and desire of the doer in the body.

  • When you can feel the breath and the form through the body as a being, distinguished and distinct from the mass of matter of which the physical body is composed, the breathform adapts the matter of the body to your thinking and feeling.
  • Then nature begins to lose control over you, because nature loses power over the breath-form, as you gain control of it.
  • By thus thinking and feeling you use your body-mind jointly with your feeling-mind, to the end that you may be able to use the feeling-mind without
  • assistance from the body-mind.
  • You are training feeling to follow thinking, instead of letting thinking follow feeling.
  • When thinking will not follow feeling, feeling must follow thinking.
  • When you can feel the parts of your body and the fluids, the breath and the nerve currents in them, you are prepared to think of and feel feeling as distinct
  • from the breath-form and the body.
  • Patience and persistence in thinking of feeling, to locate and feel it in some particular part of the body, and to distinguish it, centers feeling and cuts off the elementals, nature units, which then cannot become sensations.
  • When you are conscious of and as feeling, in and distinct from the body, you discover that the body is actually not you, but a mass, a form, which you inhabit
  • and wear.
  • While conscious of the body, like as the costume which it wears, you can by practice think of yourself as feeling only, and not feel sensations of any kind.
  • You may be cut, burned or undergo a surgical operation without sensations of pain or touch, because you are dissociated from the sensory nerves of the voluntary nervous system.
  • While being conscious as feeling in the body you should not perform any of the wonders possible for you, else you will fall into subtle nature entanglements and stop your progress.
  • By thinking of or as feeling only, to the exclusion of all else, you identify yourself as feeling.
  • You, as feeling, then feel yourself to be and are conscious of yourself as being a portion of the doer, and as distinct from your body and its senses.
  • Then the body is not seen, heard, tasted, smelled or contacted by you.

12. The world has dropped off and is forgotten. Thus your banishment of yourself to ex-istence, in nature, ends, when you are conscious of your reality in istence.

Istence is the conscious doer, feeling the reality of itself in itself, as itself; not as ex-istence, not in ex-istence, but in its aloneness resulting from its intentional disattachment of itself from the illusions of nature.

  • That is intentional freeing of feeling from nature;
  • it is: being conscious bliss, knowing "Nirvana".

If your purpose in thinking had been to escape from the world and to be liberated from nature, without knowing what of you it was that desired escape, then the feeling of you as part of the doer could seem to remain in its state of conscious bliss for long duration, even though in a short space of physical time.
But you would have to return and re-enter your human body, because you would not even be the doer part of your Triune Self, (in "Nirvana").

  • After death, your unbalanced thoughts would compel you to be re-embodied in a human and to continue on your path to freedom.
  • You cannot do that because your understanding that you are feeling-and-desire as the doer part of your Triune Self prevents you from making any such mistake as an attempt to escape.
  • A reality is a unit as it is, unattached, the thing alone, itself.
  • An illusion is an evanescent appearance as the result of the clustering of units into mass or form.

As feeling, you have no sensations, no pains or pleasures, no physical body, no senses, no breath-form, no memories of any of these, but you are the feeling which gave much of personality to all these and which made the physical body human; you are the feeling aspect of the doer.

  • You do not know who you are, though you are conscious as an immortal reality.
  • You as feeling are untrammeled, peaceful, happy, blissful.
  • You become conscious of the feelings you had but which you could not distinguish from the elementals as sensations, which drained off feeling.
  • You feel the feelings, which you mistook for sensations when the elementals fed on you, and which you could not feel while entangled with the physical body; but these cause no pleasure, no pain, because you are conscious of your reality in istence;
  • the body composed of elementals is cut off and they cannot produce and become sensations until there is contact with you,feeling.

So you do not taste food, hear sensuous music or voices, see sights or touch flesh, but you now feel that of which you were not then conscious, namely, your feelings, not felt while you felt the sensations which held you and engaged your attention.

  • You have awakened from the unreality of sensuous life into the unmixed happiness of the reality of yourself as feeling.
  • These feelings summon the desires which are their complements and answer to them.

The reactions between you as feeling-and-desire cause the psychic breath to start the physical breath, which had stopped, and to draw your feeling back into the voluntary nervous system, where the breath-form brings you into contact with the senses.

  • Now you use these senses not as one who sees and hears and tastes and smells, but as the one who feels what is seen, heard, tasted and smelled.
  • You are conscious of the body and its senses, but you are also conscious of yourself and as yourself, and independent of and distinct from the body.
  • You are conscious of yourself, not as having sight, hearing, taste and smell, but conscious that these senses are used by you and are expressions in nature of yourself as feeling.

The thinking which leads to this intentional freeing of feeling must be repeated again and again until you have the feeling-mind so under control that you can use it at will and be freed at will. When repeating the thinking you should try to be continuously conscious of what you have been conscious, until there is no break in your being continuously conscious as yourself, in the body or out of and distinct from the body.

  • When you do this you have established yourself in your istence as yourself, distinct from and independent of your body;
  • as distinct from the body as the body is distinct from the clothes it wears.
  • Then you are the reality as feeling with the capacity to feel.

13. You now distinguish sensations, which belong to nature, from feelings, which are of yourself.

You become sensitive to impressions from objects of nature which would reach into you and move you and which call upon you to feel them and to express
them through poetry, music, painting, and other arts.

  • You should not respond to any of these calls, not because you would not or could not, but because you are not ready.
  • If you allow yourself to be allied to nature, you will be drawn again into it and its glamour and slavery.
  • You are delicately sensitive to the troubles of others.
  • Their sorrows appeal to you for solace and comfort.
  • You may advise them, but you should not allow yourself to melt in sympathy and to share their sorrows, not because you would not, but because at this time you would be overcome by sorrows, theirs and later your own.
  • You would thus abort a vesture, the form body for yourself which is being formed in the body.

During each of your freedoms by thinking with the feelingmind, your desire would rush in to re-enforce and satisfy feeling, but as feeling you resist, and your thinking holds back the desire.

  • This prevents a premature union of your feeling with your desire, which, if allowed, would thereafter make freedom more difficult, if not impossible.
  • Your feeling-and-desire must each in turn be intentionally freed by itself in order that they will eventually have perfect union.
  • Your resistance by feeling and the exercise of your feeling-mind strengthen feeling and develop skill in the use of your feeling-mind.

When you can remain unmoved in feeling and can by thinking with the feeling-mind free your feeling at will, you are ready to make an effort to think for freedom of desire with your desire-mind.

  • Your desire-mind is used for the finding, control and freeing of itself.
  • In order that your desire-mind may be exercised at will, you should have the desire that desire should be itself selfcontrolled, and self-governed.
  • When you have this desire you are ready to make an effort to think with the desire-mind.
  • You should then think on desire, nothing else.
  • By thinking on desire, your desire seems to be split into numerous desires, most of which are clinging to impressions of objects or want:
  • to be, to will, to do, or to have,something.
  • On finding the desires so divided you should declare your purpose in thinking.

If the purpose is one that can be achieved by the body-mind, and you attend to it, it will lead you back into the entanglements of the world where you can achieve the object of your desire, because you can use the body-mind.

  • If you so use the bodymind you will not free desire, though you may learn some of the uses, but not the control, of your desire-mind.
  • When your purpose is to free desire, you must examine and prove your purpose by thinking to know what and who you are, in preference to doing, or having, or being anything in the world.
  • You then ask rightness to be the judge in the examination, and you state that your purpose is to free desire.
  • You question why you wish to isolate desire.
  • Many desires appear in the Light as it is held on the subject, and the thinking must continue until one among the desires is approved by rightness.
  • Doubt attends each desire as it is presented for examination, until rightness approves.
  • Then, instead of doubt, there is an unmistakable certainty.

14. In every human the desires arrange themselves into two groups: those which seek the Triune Self, and those which seek nature.

The few which seek the Triune Self are subject to the desire for Self-knowledge, that is, knowledge of the knower of the Triune Self; the many which seek nature are subject to the desire for sex.

  • The many are marshalled, led or directed by four desire-generals:
  • the desire for food, the desire for possessions, the desire for a name, and the desire for power.
  • By an examination of the four desire-generals, all the many are included, but before the examination some things about these desires should be understood. N
  • No desire will hold fast to any impression of an object when that desire is conscious of what that impression or object is, to which it is attached;
  • it will then let go of that impression.
  • No desire really wants any object of nature.
  • Each desire really wants to be at one with the desire for Self-knowledge, and with the Triune Self.
  • The desires are under the sway of darkness because they shut themselves off from the Conscious Light in the Triune Self.
  • These desires grasp the impressions of objects of nature which the senses bring in, hoping that through the objects they will find what they seek.
  • They will let go of some impressions of objects, but will hold on to the others, like as one who cannot swim grasps and holds any object, fearing he will sink. These desires are led by the light of the senses, which is as darkness when compared to the Conscious Light in the Triune Self.
  • Light in the Triune Self shows the darkness of the senses.
  • Desires are vaguely conscious of that Light and fear it because it will make them conscious of their ignorance and of their mistakes.
  • So they turn from the Light and seek the objects presented by the senses.
  • When the desire for Self-knowledge turns to the Light and would lead the way, there is war.
  • The desire for sex behind the forms of food,possessions, a name, and power, urges the four and they lead the many desires in battle,and they have won.
  • No power other than its own can separate a desire from an impression which it holds.
  • No power can change a desire; that desire, and that desire only, can change itself.
  • A desire will not let go the impression it holds until it is conscious that that impression is not what it wants.
  • A desire cannot be conscious of what the impression it holds really is, because of darkness;
  • it must have the Conscious Light to be conscious of what that impression really is.

Therefore, the Conscious Light in the Triune Self must be turned on a desire with the impression it holds, so that it may be conscious that neither the impression nor the object is what it most desires.

  • Light comes with the desire for Self-knowledge, by thinking on the desire with the impression or object to which it is attached.
  • The desire so thinking with the desire-mind calls to its aid the body-mind for nature.
  • This thinking holds the Light on the desire with the impression or object it desires.
  • The Light makes that desire conscious of what the object is to which it is attached; that the object is different from itself, is not of itself.
  • Then that desire changes itself from attachment to disattachment.
  • It is conscious of the difference of itself from the object it then does not want, and it lets go, and thereafter it will not again be attached to that object or attracted by it.

Each desire must let go of the impression, to free itself from the object, and make itself unattachable, so that the many desires divided or opposed to each other may be united as one. Therefore, when the desire for Self-knowledge appears in the Light by thinking, rightness approves it. Rightness does not approve of any other desire which may appear.

15. Then begins the proving of the desire for Self-knowledge as the purpose of your thinking: you prove it by testing it with other desires.

You summon all your desires to compare them with and adjust them to the desire for Self-knowledge, which is to be the desire of your life, the purpose of your efforts. The summons is made by your mental declaration that you desire knowledge of yourself as a Triune Self above all else, and that your purpose is to be or to have Self-knowledge.

  • This is a summons which is answered by the cunning of age-old desires, through the events of life.
  • By your thinking, each of these is put in the Light beside the desire for Self-knowledge.
  • One desire only can remain in the Light.

First come the desires for food.

  • As your thinking turns and holds the Light on them, the strength of your desires for food is tested by the strength of your desire for Self-knowledge.
  • Then food is seen to be not of you or for you, but entirely of nature, made by innumerable combinations of units of fire, air, water and earth, for the nourishment of the four systems in their upkeep of the physical body.
  • The appetites are seen to be devices for nature elementals, which stimulate and compel your desire to keep nature-matter in circulation.
  • When the desire for Self-knowledge has been chosen as your purpose of life and approved by rightness, no desire for food can stand in the Light against it.
  • As each desire for food lets go the impression, that desire becomes disattached;
  • then the strength of your desire for Self-knowledge increases and the desire for food is no longer a hindrance.
  • When your desire for food becomes conscious that the appetites are not its desires, and that they are sensation-decoys which are binders to nature, it lets go; they lose their power over it; food ceases to be a hindrance and your desire for food serves your desire for Self-knowledge.

Then are summoned the desires for possessions.

  • As your thinking arraigns in the Light the desires for possessions, the possessions are seen to have value for the body only, as they answer to its needs of clothing and shelter and its position in life, and that in all other respects they are snares, cares and shackles.
  • The desires for possessions, such as avarice, covetousness and rapacity, are undeceived by your thinking; they change.
  • Possessions other than for service lose value as your desire for them becomes conscious of what they are, and they are subordinated to the desire for Self-knowledge.
  • Freed from the binding power of the desires for possessions, your desire for Self-knowledge increases and becomes more clearly defined.

Then the desires for a name are brought into the Light, with your desire for Self-knowledge.

  • In the Light desire becomes conscious that a name is a cluster of impressions of indeterminate attributes for a personality, which are as empty and as evanescent as a bubble.
  • These desires now let go of the impressions and willingly enlist for service under your desire for Self-knowledge.

Then the desire for power is summoned into the Light.

  • In the Light, power over objects of the senses as against Self-knowledge is revealed to be an illusion created by that desire which is the offspring and adversary of the desire for Self-knowledge.
  • The illusion will be dispelled in the Light when the desire for it changes into your desire for Selfknowledge.

When your desires for food, possessions, a name and power have become conscious in the Light that the things they desired were not what they wanted, and have put themselves under the control of your desire for Self-knowledge, and merge with it, your desire for sex can be examined.

  • The desire for sex is summoned by turning the Light on it as the subject of the thinking.
  • In the Light your desire for sex becomes conscious that it is selfishness grounded in ignorance and that it calls forth and stimulates the desires for food, possessions, name, and power.
  • By thinking you see that: from these desires a male body or a female body belonging to nature is built up by food, endowed with possessions, identified by a name and engendered by power, as determined by thinking.
  • By thinking you see that your desire for sex dreads the Light, but that it cannot escape when the Light is held on it.
  • In the Light, you see the desire for sex to be the basis of duality, separateness and strife, the chief adversary and leader of all the desires opposed to your desire for Self-knowledge.
  • You become conscious that the desire for sex cannot be dissipated or done away with, but that it can be changed.
  • As the desire for sex stands beside the desire for Self-knowledge in the Light, you are conscious that it senses that a male body or a female body is not
  • what it wants, and it changes itself and is disattached and ceases to want a male or a female body.
  • Then the desire for sex is seen to change itself in the Light as it becomes conscious that it cannot be or get what it wants without the desire for Self-knowledge.
  • Your desire for sex then desires to be led by your desire for Self-knowledge and is no longer afraid of the Light.
  • When your desire for sex desires to be led by your desire for Self-knowledge, "desire as a whole" should become the subject of the thinking.
  • As your thinking holds the Light on desire as a whole, your desire for Self-knowledge has increase of power, and the desires which had been in animal forms appeal to the desire for sex to war against your desire for Self-knowledge, or to get away from desire as a whole.
  • Under the Light your desire which had been for the sexes now changes and leads all desires desiring nature, and, with them, merges with your desire for Self-knowledge, and there is no desire for expression as the sexes.
  • Your thinking then holds the Light on desire itself, alone.
  • The body with its seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touching falls away, nature vanishes, and you as desire are alone and at rest.
  • But you do not remain at rest.

16. Under the Light, you as desire become restless, strong, powerful.

When your thinking held the Light on the desires they were by the desire for Self-knowledge drawn together and united. While the desires divided and warred, they were good and evil, God and Devil. Now that they are united and controlled, they are conscious power, which is goodness.

  • In the proving of the desires, the desire-mind called upon the body-mind to cooperate with it.

When the desires for food, possessions, a name, power and sex were by the Light made conscious of what those things really are, and no longer desired them, thinking with the body-mind for nature was stopped, and the desire-mind continued the thinking, which resulted in the freeing of desire.

  • Your selfcontrolled desire is free in the Light, conscious of itself as power and part of a greater Self, which it desires to know.
  • The freeing of your desire has been brought about by your effort to use your desire-mind, and by its use.
  • The desire-mind makes contact with breathing and the body-mind, and desire is again active in the body, but the human is no longer the same human.
  • You are conscious of yourself as a conscious power, not guided, not led by seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling or touching, and you are conscious as not the body.
  • By thinking with your desire-mind on yourself you are conscious as unexpressed power that desires expression.
  • But you do not desire expression of power through bodily personality, because you are now conscious that this is merely an appearance, an illusion, which could be dissipated and scattered.
  • By thinking with your feeling-mind on yourself, you are conscious as beauty and you yearn for expression.
  • You do not want expression of beauty through objects of the four senses because you are conscious of them as illusory and evanescent.

17. Feeling and desire are now conscious as beauty and as power, and as not the body;but they are not balanced.

They can be balanced only when they are freed from sexuality and the body-mind is under their control.

  • Sexuality is the condition of feeling-and-desire in a human body, experiencing forms of nature-madness or natureintoxication.
  • By the successive thinking on food, possessions, a name, power, sex, the senses, on the attractions these are to the deluded, and on their deadliness, feelingand-desire are freed from sexuality.
  • Then these are seen to be illusions, as unreal as moving pictures, not the things themselves, and their hold on feeling-and-desire ceases.
  • Feeling-and-desire, immune from sexuality, are ready to be balanced.
  • Balance between feeling and desire is made by the feeling-mind and desire-mind thinking on their right relation.
  • Right relation is found to be, that feeling-and-desire are the necessary complements to the union and action of each other, and are equal in their relation to each other.
  • Feeling-and-desire each feel and desire equality, and they are equal.

Equality of feeling-and-desire puts the body-mind in right relation to them, so that the body-mind cannot think of them as being separable, and must think of them as they are: each being the same in and as the other.

  • Then the body-mind is itself balanced; it thinks of things as they are, and in no other way.
  • The three minds thus thinking hold the Light on feeling-and-desire and they, feeling-and-desire, are amalgamated in balanced union, inseparable.
  • When feeling-and-desire are thus united in balanced union they find love.
  • Feeling-and-desire in union with love is blessedness in perpetuity.

Blessedness is the state of the doer, when feeling and desire have immunity from the intoxicating passions and pleasures of the body senses and have found love.

  • Love is Conscious Sameness throughout the four worlds.
  • Love in the doer is the state of balanced union and interaction between feeling-and-desire, in which each feels and desires itself to be and is itself in and as the other.
  • Then feeling-anddesire are at peace and stand reconciled in the Conscious Light of the Intelligence.

18. At this stage you, the doer, feeling-and-desire in complete union, have capacity and power to feel, to will, to do, and to be.

You see mankind in ignorance, suffering endless rounds of sensations, pains and pleasures. You would willingly show them the simple way of ending their troubles; but you should know also that those wiser than you would have done this were it possible.

  • You see nature in perpetual and aimless turmoil and distress.
  • You see that you can relieve suffering, give direction to force and establish order and purpose;
  • but you should know that the state of the human world is what man makes it, the exteriorization of his thoughts, and that it must be changed by suffering man by balancing his thoughts.
  • You see that you could be as God to men and could control them through their feelings and desires and thus prevent their bringing suffering on themselves and others.
  • But you see that by your doing this they would be kept in the child state in which they are;
  • that you would then be responsible for them;
  • that men must learn to change and to control their own feelings and desires.
  • By thinking, you see that at this stage your effort to help man or nature would only be a check to his own progress and to nature.
  • You wish to help and you see that you could create a thought of love and beauty and power and give it to men to lift them out of sordidness and strife.
  • But you also see that men would take the thought and build from it a religion to suit their feelings and desires, and that the religion would pass and be forgotten without accomplishing its purpose.
  • You see the futility of doing any of the things that you might do.
  • By thinking, you see that to be able to benefit men you must first know them.
  • And you see that you can know them only by Self-knowledge.
  • By thinking, you find that you do not know your Self.
  • You are now conscious of your ignorance.
  • By thinking, your past thoughts as ideals are examined and are dissipated in the Light.
  • When, by thinking, the only thing that can remain in the Light is the desire for Self-knowledge, you are ready to go on
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